He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize