also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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