You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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