Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize