Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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