I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
