You're completely useless in the revolution.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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