I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
