i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
