Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
