after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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