saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
