I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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