You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize