ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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