All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize