our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I want a musical about memes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
