from now on my penis is your penis
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
