I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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