Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
should my penis look like a turkey
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
