so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
