i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Randomize
