I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
