ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
