don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
