I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
