i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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