If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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