Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
