next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
