So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
