this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
