ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
