I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
