Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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