Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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