what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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