Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
