whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
