You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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