thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
