it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
