Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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