Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize