oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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