Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize