That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
