I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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