Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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