You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
