It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
