Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
