How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
