uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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