Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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