i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
