i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
