For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize