Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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