no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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