why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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