hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize