If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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