In the future we'll all be gay
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize