Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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