Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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